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tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (3): Create opportunities for conversation.创造交谈的机会。

tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (3): Create opportunities for conversation.创造交谈的机会。

Often in the

course of a busy day, it is difficult to find the time to have a simple conversation with your child. Make the effort to engage them in conversation. Assure them there is no topic off limit. Difficult as they may seem, alcohol, drugs and sex are topics best discussed in an open and safe environment. 通常在忙碌的一天中,很难找到时间与您的孩子进行简单的交谈。请努力制造与他们交谈的机会。向他们保证交谈的话题是不受限制的,他们是在一个开放和安全的环境中与您交流,甚至可以讨论有关酗酒、吸毒或者性这类的议题。

tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (2): Listen don’t lecture.

tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (2): Listen don’t lecture. 倾听但不训导。

Allow them the opportunity to share their concerns with you and hold back from offering an opinion unless it is clear they need your advice. Let your child know that what she has to say is important. Give them your undivided attention, maintain eye contact so they know you are paying attention. 允许您的孩子有机会与您分享他们所关注/疑虑的问题,但不要给予意见/建议,除非您的孩子明确表示需要您的意见/建议。让您的孩子知道您很重视他/她所说的。给予他们一心一意的关注,保持目光接触,让他们知道你很重视他们。

Tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (1): Start early. From the time your child learns to talk, make yourself available to listen. 尽早开始。当您的孩子开始学说话时,花时间去倾听。

Tips for improving parent-child communication 改善亲子沟通技巧 (1): Start early. From the time your child learns to talk, make yourself available to listen. 尽早开始。当您的孩子开始学说话时,花时间去倾听。

Imagine you have a water barrel, the floor underneath the barrel is wet from leaks. What will you do about it?

The water barrel is a metaphor for the context we are in and the situations we often face. On a personal level, the water barrel could be our character, which may seem good to others on the outside, but which may be in fact riddles with leaky holes. In time, if these holes are not patched up, the water within us – which could stand for our credibility or social capital, will leak away, and what is left is emptiness, what use would that be?
这水桶可代表我们所处的环境,与常面对的事情。在个人领域方面,这水桶或许可以代表着我们的品格,虽完整,但有漏洞。若不赶紧修补,在我们以内的水 – 可代表个人的信用 – 将会渐渐流失,留下内在的空缺。

What if the barrel represents our families? What will the water be? One thought is that the water represents our family relationships. If there is more water, then the members are closer together and that the family is able to walk through difficult times as a unit. And if that relationship leaks out or is polluted by unwanted third party, the family could be

destroyed as a result. So, then what can we do about it?

We will be beginning a series to explore the area of Parent-Child communication and offer tips to empower you to plug the holes in your family and stop the leaks.

“You’re not listening to me!” Parents say this all the time to their children. The reverse is true as well – children often tell their parents they’re not listening to them. Good communication between parent and child is essential to building a child’s self esteem and fostering a mutual respect, whether parenting a toddler or a teenager. However, communication does not happen overnight, and it is not a one-time or occasional thing. Communicating with your child has to happen early, and often.

Here is a tip for improving parent-child communication 以下是改善亲子沟通的技巧 (1):

Start early. From the time your child learns to talk, make yourself available to listen. 尽早开始。当您的孩子开始学说话时,花时间去倾听。

Counting What Counts

Let us ponder about the few learning points below:

Are we counting that which matters? Are we focused on the relationships that make us human? Are we achieving the synergy between people that was meant to be?

What signifies your life? What matters in your family? What counts in your business team?

Morphos Connecting, Serving and Celebrating:

In Morphos, we seek to make the emotional connections between the work that we do and the differences our actions make. From the translation of the PEAKS profiles to the coaching of our clients, we constantly strive to connect, to serve and to celebrate. We want to be connected to your story, your understanding of the issue at hand, allowing us to serve with listening ears and creative solutions, so as to celebrate your victorious future, and the differences we have made together.

Happiness is love, full-stop.

Through one of the longest longitudinal studies tracking 268 men from the time they entered college till old age (over 70 years), George Vaillant, lead researcher concludes that “Happiness is love, full-stop”.

For full article, refer to: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/7439/

Cultivate Positive Thinking Habits (2): Break out from set thinking patterns

Ready… Get Set… Stuck.

How many times have we got ourselves into a situation, ready to confront an issue, but end up feeling stuck? Or when faced with a complex problem, and after applying all known formulas to it, we are still stuck?

Sir Ken Robinson was quoted, “we don’t grow into creativity, we grow out of it. Or rather… We get educated out of it.”

Education has the purpose of imparting knowledge and understanding of the known world to us, allowing us to make more informed decisions as well as having the assurance of “what is right”. Yet it seems that in the course of education, our innate ability to ask “why” and “why not” has faded away and our mind has started to become guided by a certain set of beliefs about the things around us. We start to have a certain set of beliefs about learning, about leadership, about creativity, about life, etc.

PhD Carol Dweck’s Mindset talks about how we could either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. In fixed mindsets, people believe that everything about them and others are set. A successful person has always been successful all his life and a failure’s life is all about failures. And we know that there are limitations to having a fixed mindset. Creativity and growth is stifled and our perception of others has not much room for negotiation.

Break out from your set thinking patterns into growth mindsets using your personality strengths. If you are open and inquisitive, use that advantage to explore new areas of knowledge and opportunities to integrate with your existing situation. If you are naturally more questioning, use that to question the way things are and enjoy a good debate with your friends about the issues on hand. If you are more latent and more reserved in nature, use your naturally ability to listen and be moved by inspirational stories.

With a growth mindset, the best is yet to be.

Morphos coaching employs growth mindset where we believe that there can be progression wherever you are and that the best is yet to be. By becoming your mirror to allow for self-reflection, you will find that you will be unstuck. The problems and complications you are facing now, be it for yourself or for your team, will soon find a creative resolution.

Break out from your set thinking patterns, adopt growth.

Cultivate Positive Thinking Habits (1): Get Rid of Prejudices

In the 21st Century, where the effect of globalisation has hit the shores of every nation, every community, the ability to handle diversity soon became a highly-sought after skill in leaders everywhere.

In face of such diversity, are we truly able to accept the differences? Can we celebrate the differences? Are we really free of prejudices?

Interpersonal relations often begin with finding a common point, and building the relationship from there. If we have formed certain opinions beforehand, chances are that we would tend to focus on the differences rather than the common points. Be it within family members or corporate teams, we need to be careful of our thoughts, are we focusing on the ties that bind or the gap between people?

Searching for the common point between people has brought Sophia from one tool to another, from DISC, MBTI, TJTA, to PEAKS, which is the tool of choice. Personality forms a the core of  a person, behaviour, attitudes, cognition, personal values, are all closely related to a person’s personality and PEAKS is by far the best tool to describe it.

Based on the five-factor model, created through multiple iterations and factor analysis, PEAKS takes a snapshot of a person’s inner self using terms which are simple to understand and easy to apply. Using PEAKS, a person can be understood based on:

P- purpose: how the person relates to tasks
E – energy: how the person relates to relationships
A – affirmation: how the person relates to authority
K – knowledge: how the person relates to change
S – sustainability: how sensitive the person is to stress

By using such a tool which captures the universal traits of a person, we can then figure out the common points in a shorter time, helping to get rid of prejudices, allowing relationships to be established and developed. Using this tool, leaders have found it easier to understand the diversity surrounding them to build the relationships that matter.

One of the most influential early Christian missionary, Paul, once wrote: “For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; … to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.” (1 Cor 9:19,22 NKJV)

Cultivate Positive Thinking Habits

King Solomon, probably the wisest king throughout history, left us with these words, “don’t eat with people who are stingy; don’t desire their delicacies. They are always thinking about how much it costs. “Eat and drink,” they say, but they don’t mean it.”

Our mind is the basic element of life, causing us to act or feel in a certain way. If one constantly think about the cost, no matter how much of an outward appearance we try to put up, it is hypocrisy at best. Yet, we know many who live life in a similar way, having their speech and actions inconsistent with their thoughts.

In our pursuit for a more wholesome life with a character worth telling our children about, we need to cultivate positive thinking habits. As the Chinese saying goes, it is easy to learn bad habits, but it is very difficult to learn good ones. Cultivating positive thinking requires toil and effort before we can reap the fruit of fulfillment and integrity.

Similar to cultivation in the field, the first step is to toil the soil, removing the rocks and the loosening the soil. In order to do that, we have to:

1) Get rid of prejudices

2) Break out from set thinking patterns

3) Challenge and control twisted thoughts

It is only with loosening the soil, which we can then go further to thought renewal processes.

Empowerment: the answer within you

Empowerment is about finding the answer within yourself and helping you to implement it.

Empowerment works because that is the most natural you, and that the solution is the most effective for the situation, in which you know best.